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my days

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Who would ever thought that I would join a writing class? And yet I did. This morning. At The Jakarta Post. So happened that I’m one of the three lucky people who got to attend the creative writing workshops available as a part of The Jakarta Post Writing Center’s Writer’s Series 2017. The Writer’s Series: …

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To The Ends of The World

pencil + metallic inks on black pad

 

 

This was one of my entries to International English Service’s Art Auction last year. The original artwork would be hanging on someone’s wall (hopefully). Actually posting it is an act of procrastination – instead of getting my paper and pencils and whatnot out of the box, why don’t I just dig up old artworks (which, is, scarce by the way) and show them off.

2015 has been an unproductive one – in terms of art – mainly because I’m…too lazy. The more elaborate explanation will be that I’ve been having difficulties dividing my time between my 9 to 5 job, books (including  co-organizing book club), practicing illustration (and getting sidetracked by brush lettering along the way), cooking, housekeeping, finding inspirations for furnishing my apartment (while the actual act of furnishing itself is having a lil hiccup) and daydreaming. And of all I’ve been focusing pretty much on reading books and daydreaming, both – if you notice – are acts of escaping reality. It’s not that reading is bad – in fact I encourage you to take time to read everyday – it’s just that a little discipline will be good here, don’t you think? While multitasking is clearly just a myth, the plan is to introduce consistency into my daily activities. well, hope I am consistent enough to carry it out.

It’s coming back. After years. Those feelings. The feeling that made me leave my job the last time. Only this time is worse. This time I feel the ship is sinking. Can feel the layers of frustration, resentment and contempt is beginning to pile up. Do what you love and you’ll never work a day …

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| IES Kelapa Gading Mission Tee / 2 0 1 4 Something from about a year ago. Designed for Outreach Ministry of International English Service Jakarta As far as I remember, most of the time their commissions have reached me during my busiest periods. That way - too bad - the works have always felt like one thing too many on my plate; one more thing that I had to wedge into my crammed tiny brain. Of course I've always wanted to work cheerfully and wholeheartedly. That's the essence of doing ministry. But the fact is, I could never give them the best allocation of time - let alone my whole heart.The works I've done so far were like crafted just enough to meet the deadlines; to ease me from my 'debt'; Left me with a 'It could have been better crafted' feeling.

But if they had been such a burden then why did I keep doing it? Because as far as I remember, they have also been such a blessing. Those commissions have challenged me to accomplish something otherwise I wouldn't have. They insisted I use the little free time I had doing illustrations, letterings or designs instead of catching up with my favorite TV series. Thus they've sharpened me as an illustrator/designer. And I'm grateful.

hashtag

I saw a picture and i was swept into sea of Hashtags.
I saw another picture and i swallowed more Hashtags.
Waves of them following your single picture.
O I believe Hashtag serves a purpose.
I’m not against them, I even use them.
But if you abuse them into meaningless unspaced phrases
that supposed to explain what is captured in your picture,
than why show a picture at all.
Nothing left to imagine.

Yes a picture need a caption to express its context,
or one or two Hashtags to get connected in social media,
but why don’t you let the picture tells the story?
or maybe #you are #desperately #want #your #picture to #pop
in #each and #every #category or #trendingtopic #available
that #you don’t #realize that #you are #justputting #thenumbersign
or a #hash in #front of #every #single #words in your #caption.
or maybe i follow the wrong people in socmed.
But, seriously…too many Hashtags actually kill your picture.

#justbitchingabout
#apictureisworthathousandhashtags

UsedToBe

Used to be. It was (only) 20 minutes between bed and the road.
Used to be. There’s no need to add up these many layers on my face.
Used to be. No need to think before I eat.
Used to be. Pictures were taken more thoughtfully.
Used to be. Common people don’t have so many followers.
Used to be. I got time to ask questions. (and try to find the answers)
Used to be. Friend means entirely a different thing.
Used to be. A bag of lemon didn’t cost this much.
Used to be. No need to ponder to which (social) media should I post this.

this is the story about this doodle

Low GI

 

Why low GI? O wait…What. is. GI?
It has something to do with blood sugar.
Well…i can explain but i bet google explains way better.
So feel free to consult him.

Here have a peek if you’re curious. and maybe this too.
And, oh, this is gonna be a long post of a lamentation kind
just because i need to vent out. So, you can skip to my next post
if you want (it will be about easter artwork, hopefully..)

Anyway, change of diet, is one of my many desperate
shots to fight acne. It’s been a never-ending battle and i’m depleted.
I don’t always suffer from acne though, It all started like about 10 years ago when i graduated from university and moved to Jakarta – which, actually were not supposed to trigger anything like a massive break out. I don’t know…

So, basically since 2005 until now I’ve always had severe acne –
except for a couple of periods of great clean skin during Accutane and the pills –
but, never had the break out is as severe as the last three months.
Thus the low GI diet started.

I’ve had enough and decided to take care of it more holistically. Here I am now going all groceries shopping and cooking and blending smoothies. Because i want to get a cure, not just temporary treatments. (I didn’t finish my therapy with Accutane because i didn’t  believe in it and turned out it made my eczema worse. I went with pills for almost a year than decided to got off it. Both the accutane and pills are prescribed by dermatologist)

Convinced that no dermatologist could cure me  – it’s been unpleasant, my visits to them derms. with the level of severity like mine, every one of them will prescribe either accutane, birth control or antibiotics – i seek advice from mr.google who imparted many revelations.

Now I know better about acne, why some people has it and the other don’t, what the relation is between our diet and skin, and why it is ok to punch someone in the face when they told me i got acne because i have oily skin and should wash my face more often. *kidding* It is basically toxin, hormone and genetic tendencies that play part in creating an acne conducive skin. It’s not because your face is dirty.

Ok, it’s a slim chance to try and to cure oneself. First, I know I’m not knowledgeable enough about skin and body to actually try things out without any expert’s guidance, but I’m done with dermatologist.

Secondly, the information out there come from various sources.
And they don’t always agree with each other.
Also, most information and research are based on American diet, american skin etc. (i bet my guts got more bacteria and parasites than any american guts)
I use my own logic to judge what is the best for me. I am skeptical about some, embrace some, dismiss another.

So whatever i choose to do is not necessarily the right ones. For example, I don’t believe in liver flush and colonic. I feel more comfortable with the natural habitat in my colon intact. I also don’t believe in blue light treatment that would kill all the acne bacteria. I do believe in cutting out dairies, sugar and deep-fried food.

Getting all the mismatched information about what to eat to get a better skin really could add more breakouts rather than eliminate them. Too much contradictions out there. Moreover, it is stressing enough to decide on a perfect diet plan for me, let alone shopping for it. (if you only knew the price of those organic vegetables and fruits here! and salmon. and honey.)

So at first i just copied whatever meal plan that has worked for someone and saw if it would work for me too. It went for a while, copy pasting some meal-plan (and some skincare regimes too), keeping a food and skin diary and keep researching. There were some improvements, then it got worse again, and so on. So, it is, still, a never ending battle.

But what i want to say is, in fact i do enjoy the process of cooking all my own meal, blending smoothies, trying out new recipes, though it means that i have to wake up much earlier in the morning when I’m soo not a morning person.

The hardest part of this diet change is giving up white rice. White rice is like, the staple grain here. And I love white rice. Especially how we cook it here in Indonesia, “pulen” is the term here, it’s like the grains are sticking together nicely but not too watery. o it’s sooo good… Moreover, most of Indonesian & Chinese food is just not right to be consumed without rice. I’m replacing it with brown rice now. And quinoa – which, cost me irrational amount of money.

The other torture is eliminate cheese & butter. Can’t drink milk is totally fine. But..butter! arrgh.. ok i can get really worked up if it comes to food. Anyway, I only cut them out completely for the first 7 days. After that i include them now and then but in small quantity.

The first 7 days i totally eliminate wheat, dairies, starchy vegetables, nightshades, sugar, red meat, and refined carbs.
Plenty of fresh veggies, fruits and lemon water instead.
I cook only with coconut oil, not even dare to use olive oil.
The problem is, to my palate, coconut oil didn’t really go along with chinese food. Or even some western food. Sauteed vegetables should smells like sesame oil, like the soy sauce hitting the sizzling wok (wok, not pan). not coconut. Coconut oil is actually best in balinese food, if you ever visit bali, they’ve been using coconut oil for like, forever, loong before VCO became the god of all oil. Well, anyway, the result? the war is not over, but there are improvements on my skins.

At this rate, i will have to maintain this diet for like, forever. Like they said, it’s a change of lifestyle. Not an easy cure. I also not saying it’s cheaper than seeing dermatologist. But it is healthier :) and make me feel happier. For now I’ll just keep trying not to consume too much food that will spike my blood sugar level. Keep eating a lot of fruit and veggies, and keep trying to be happy. (The downside is, my already hypochondriac self is turning into Cyberchondriac. *woot*) but here’s something to be drooling at.

2014-03-23 14.03.23-1 Screen Shot 2014-04-04 at 10.52.53 PM Screen Shot 2014-04-04 at 10.53.37 PM2014-03-31 19.21.24-2

ola 2014.
yet another wet beginning of the year. for the second year in a row. splendid. only this time we still have electricity. and the road right in front of our gate is still quite dry. no safety boats and make-shift-rafts going back and forth carrying refugees. but we are pretty much isolated.

last year i didn’t see it coming at all. one morning i woke up and yaick, the house was already surrounded by flood water, electricity had been cut, no tv, no news, no telephone.
there were not much that i could do at that time so it appeared that i was going through all that quite calmly. but actually it was a really traumatic experience. being cut out from the world, worrying all the time about hygiene and stuffs, constantly running out out water and candle sticks, doing nothing, and finally doing something which was escaping the neighborhood with lusia. but even that escape was a lil bit traumatic too, getting to the highway on a very unreliable-raft-made-of-bathroom-door (from my neighborhood this highway was the only accessible road to somewhere dry), the yucky flood water that we had to plow through, the highway fence that we had to climb. Actually on hindsight they were pretty cool, something that i could brag about, not everyday i could climb a highway fence and get away with it, right :D. but please..so yucky and there was also the uncertainty that anyone would pull over and let our wet selves get into their car or cab (yes, instead of calling SAR boat we chose to hitch-hiked haha; oh yea we didn’t have phone connection so that’s the reason why). anyway we managed to get a cab.

this year is different. actually the neighborhood is still quite relatively dry, and this flood is not that 5-year-cycle flood that the people of Jakarta dreads. but in several areas in Jakarta the flood has been going on for more than a week, and still there is no sign of letting up. and everyday the cloud is haunting us, moreover the news of this and that flood gate being opened really get to my nerve. last year when i got out of the flood i was quite surprised at people’s indifference, then i understood that parts of jakarta which were not flooded was absolutely normal so they didn’t have any idea. funny how this year i am actually in their position and not directly affected by flood but i am more panic than last year. maybe i am overreacting. but i just don’t want to get through all that again.

 

taking a breather between deadlines and fighting flu. while waiting for another job briefing scheduled at noon, i bought some silly women magazine full of ads, reorganizing my portable drive and found yet another drawing.

got no time nor energy nor inspiration to do sketches lately *woot woot*

 

 

 

20130628-011536.jpg

after a horrible evening – thanks to Jakarta’s traffic and of course, hormone imbalance – this felt so good.
but this scrub is really good, smells so nice.
it’s the first time i try it and  to be honest didn’t expect too much of it.
but turn out to be a good price good value.